I Started My Day In My Backyard In My Underwear…

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Okay, I don’t want to gross anyone out. But, it’s for the sake of conservation. Lil baby toads fall into our pool/if I don’t get out there asap in the am, they end up all puffy and stiff. Not the way I want to start my day.

The good in all this isn’t just my efforts to “save the toads”. I’m out of bed! Not only out of bed, but doing normal mom things. Laundry, taking oldest daughter to get root canal and talking to oldest daughter that if she gets a facial piercing she’ll be grounded for life. I’ve loosened up on her ears.

It’s no med. that has helped with the depression. I’m on the same stuff. All I have added is OM3 fish oil. Has anyone heard of this brand? I, also, have been eating healthier. Not much sugar/trying to go organic. And, finally, sticking to a boring bed time-in bed by 9pm-10pm the latest. Yes, even on the weekends. My therapist had been urging me to do this/I have read that sleep is very important for BP’s. Now, on some nights I don’t sleep as well as others. I wake up too early or I wake in the middle of the night. I just pray that I go back to sleep/try not to get worked up about it. If I get bent out of shape, I really will be awake.

But this hurricane crap is putting a dent in my catching some sun. It’s been about 5 days of cloudy rainy days. It’s seriously getting on my nerves. I’m so afraid that depression is going to come back-I’m one of those people that hates winter/I live outside of Houston, Texas. We have no winter compared to most states! I need my sun. Not that I want a tan. NO-too vain-causes wrinkles. But, I need to swim and soak up some vitamin D.

UGH! It’s raining right now! I need an indoor sun room. dayroom. Like on True Blood-looks all sunny, but fake.

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Topamax 50mg Doing Well

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I can’t say I’m jumpin for joy. But, I’m up out of bed. My husband and I  have plans to do something today. I feel like I will  follow through and do them. In the past, I’ve lost it and bailed in the end.

I think the docs put too much emphasis on my hypo-mania. I was hardly that grouchy. I was just happy/woke up with a smile on my face in the mornings. Makes me tempted to see how it goes with the topamax. And then if I’m fine at 50 cut it to 25. I was hypo-manic for 10 years before any depression. Who am I fooling ? I’m too chicken shit. Or am I?

3 Months of Livin in the Bed Depression is Too Much!!!!!!!!

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I saw my psychiatrist and she’s reducing my topomax. I’m to call her in 5 days to let her know how I’m doing. Make sure I’m not manic out of my mind. But, really after all this depression I’d take some mania. 3 months of no joy. Except when I’m with my girls.

I’m also going to see both my psych/therapist every 2 weeks. Glad we have savings. These people don’t take insurance. Expensive way to get me out of the house and all perty.

It’s either this or I go to the “spa”. It’s supposedly a very nice facility. Voluntary only. The best of the best doctors. But, I’d rather not have to do that right now.

I can’t believe  just 3 years ago I was so happy.  Then Dr. Alain Katic had to help, me, his patient have a break down-thus ending her hypo-mania/beginning her descent into depression. Katic I hope you rot in hell. I I take it back.

Yep, confusing cyclothymia…bed ridden depression for 3 months? Sounds like  BP II? Am I right or  wrong? It doesn’t matter that much.

Well, it’s past my bedtime/I’m suppose to stick to a routine. Just couldn’t sleep.

I’ve Been Trying To Find Movies and Books on Cyclothymia.

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But, I guess it’s so rare and so boring compared to you bipolar I and II ya’ll steal the limelight! 😉 For one, the name.  Cyclothymia. Sounds like a venereal disease! Couldn’t they just go with bipolar III?

Then, our hypo-mania amounts to a little extra happiness with dashes of crankiness/irritability. If we experience depression, some of the lucky ones don’t ( OMG, I wish I were one of those blessed individuals!) it usually is the worst of our symptoms. So, what kind of boring movie would that make? To top it off the disease is rare. So, everyone in the theatre would be looking at themselves going what in the hell does this person have? Chlamydia? or a mental disorder or what? It would bomb.